I don’t know how many days it has been. All I can do is sit in this place without a space to move an inch. It is so uncomfortable and I barely have a place to budge. How did I get here? Why am I here? I don’t have answers for this. Yet, why do I fell it is ok.
Days passed by, I still don’t know if I have ever seen the day light. I don’t know. all I remember is this emptiness. Where am I? I wondered. Yet, why I do fell the warm of the sun around me as it were to fall on my skin.
Days passed by, it is still so stuffy in here. It is hard to breathe. I think I might choke in here. Yet, I don’t suffocate. It is odd, but I don’t know why I still can breathe and be alive.
Days passed by, I still cannot open my eyes. I don’t know what happened to them, all I sense is the pitch darkness around me. I wondered what things lurked around me. Yet, I felt safe within this darkness. There is serenity with this darkness.
Days passed by, I still hear sounds, they are faint and muffled. I don’t know what they are saying, yet I hear them laugh. It is nice to hear voices; however, “why do they enjoy my pain and suffering?” I wondered.
Days passed by, I am still alive. I still get food, yet I don’t have the freedom to choose what I want eat or when I want eat. I don’t remember if I had freedom before. Yet, I am happy that they still keep me alive.
Days passed by, I still save my energy each day to break free, but it always falls short. I wonder how much more should I suffer. Yet, why do I feel safe being here. “Would I anger them with my actions?” I thought.
Days passed by, I hear a lot of noise, it not pleasant and it does not ease my mind. They seem to be turning hostile yet, I am still safe. I hope this is just a phase while I plan my escape.
Days passed by, I now feel a lot of pain. I don’t know why. “Did I do something wrong?” I wondered why. This pain hurts, my chest hurts. It stops for while but it starts again. “What is going on?” I worry with my thoughts.
Days passed by, this pain increases and my body hurts all over. I want to escape but I don’t think I will survive with my strength. I should wait, let this pass by…. “Hope these days pass by”, is what I prayed.
The day just started, I don’t think I have much time. I don’t want to be disposed off, but I don’t think I have a say in this. I want to scream, but I don’t think I can or remember if I could.
“Mom! I am not ready to go out! I won’t survive! Please make them stop!” I know my voices do reach her, but I don’t think she can do anything either. She has given up and agreed to this future, a future of mine that is not for anyone else to make, but her.
They want a grown woman to bare them a child, yet they nip the child at their prime. It doesn’t make sense and I can’t voice these thoughts of mine.
“Mom, I know you tried. You did what you could. You tried to keep me captive to let me out when it was my time, but I guess we both have no voices in the end. Please don’t cry because you are still fine. I don’t mind passing by…..For you, I would never mind….”
The day passed by… one last time.
FIN.