My Random Notes

these days move into months
and I still find you here
stuck to my soul
seems unfair to be so far
and still find you here
so close to my heart

found very late
as lovers often do

and I wish you could turn
this heart of mine to song
and carry it with you, all yours
a matching tune
so perfectly together
oh the things we would sing
and be unafraid
of the eyes that pervade
and invade the things we could be

if it could set you free
so you could be
all you
and I could find you complete
away from shame and guilt
and those words that pull you under

to walk with you
outside of a secret
and not have to hide
all the things we truly are

years are far too precious to waste
dragging out all the things you’ve failed
trying to be someone you’re not
and searching for things that don’t exist

Technorati Tags: angst, emotion, feeling, heart, hurt, journal, life, love, mystery, notes, pain, people, questions, random notes, random poetry, random things, random writings, relationship, write, writing

when darkness surrounds
and my heart can’t be found
will you give up on me
will you turn your back
and say all is lost
if confusion and doubt
break into my weary mind
will your light shine through
and tell me how to find
a way to keep on
to stay in the game

Technorati Tags: angst, emotion, feeling, heart, hurt, journal, life, love, mystery, notes, pain, people, questions, random notes, random poetry, random things, random writings, relationship, write, writing

sadly lay your head
and I will mine
gently flow the tears
that flood my mind
follow the paths that lead to nowhere
listen to the voices you cannot hear
confusion drowns the changing thoughts
while grief takes over when all is lost
sadly lay your head
and I will mine
gently flow the tears
that flood my mind
sing sweet songs to the ones who are lost
find out your way no matter the cost
fight all the battles that rage in your mind
wipe away the tears that once made you blind
no more lays the head
that’s full of grief
no more flow the tears
without relief
look towards a day when you can see
that the troubles today will make you free
walk all the miles to a brand new day
live out your life in every way

Technorati Tags: angst, emotion, feeling, heart, hurt, journal, life, love, mystery, notes, pain, people, questions, random notes, random poetry, random things, random writings, relationship, waiting, write, writing

After taking a long break from blogging, I’ve returned to view my website and see how it is doing.

It’s funny when I look back at some of the things I’ve written… my notes, things about my life and whatever I have been going through at certain points… sometimes I think it was so silly how I felt about things or what I was worried about.

I hope that what I’m going through at the moment becomes one of those times. It’s one of the hardest things in the world to release someone knowing that you really couldn’t live without them and if you couldn’t be with them, then things would get scary. I always thought that if a man and woman really loved each other, then they could go through anything together, supporting each other and sharing in the struggle. I’m learning that life sometimes throws things in your path that you would never have expected. Sometimes those things need to be handled in more creative ways. And just when I think I have everything figured out, things get flipped up-side-down… over and over again… maybe I should learn to expect the unexpected. However, one of the biggest things I struggle with at the moment is patience to wait through these uncertainties.

I hope that soon I can look back at this post and think how silly I am to be anxious about these things.

Technorati Tags: anxiety, anxious, break, emotion, feeling, happiness, heart, hurt, journal, life, love, moment, mystery, new, notes, pain, people, questions, relationship, separation, struggle, time, writing

can’t put words to so many questions
the perfection of you is marred
by so much insecurity
your if’s are more than I can comprehend
clouds pass and some are here to stay
but how to discern

can I say what’s in my heart
will it just confuse and hurt
expectations drown in blurs of tears
haunted by each other’s words
don’t want to regret leaving a mark
am I just waiting for a broken heart
but I’ll crawl into your arms again
hold me and tonight will last forever

Technorati Tags: angst, emotion, feeling, heart, hurt, life, love, mystery, pain, questions, random notes, random poetry, random things, random writings, relationship, write

Last year for Christmas my mom gave me and my sisters a book call “for women only” by Shauntie Feldham. Now my first thought was, “oh great, another book trying to tell me how to find the perfect guy or how to be happy being single or why I was still single or any number of things trying to gently imply that I should be desperate by giving me tips on how not to be desperate… right, thanks.”

So I glanced at the cover, then put it aside while I ravaged the Reese’s Peanut Butter Christmas Trees and opened my Magic Crystal Christmas Tree Kit… always a favourite.

Later I was talking to my sisters about the books we had received and I mentioned the one above. Before I could attempt to make fun of it they stopped me and told me that this was one that I had to read. At first I wasn’t sure about it, but they insisted that it wasn’t a book I should throw in my closet and allow to gather dust. They were so adamant that I began to read later that night… and continued to read until early morning.

From the first pages you can tell that this book will completely revolutionise the way that women should relate to men. I spent all night with my mouth hanging open and a constant ‘light going off’ in my head. I thought that I was a pretty level-headed woman who understood a bit about men, but I was sorely mistaken. I realized that as the book points out, men and women are ‘wired’ differently, completely differently! This book was written by a women who, rather than communicating what she understands about men, decided to take surveys of men based on things women want to understand about them and simply publish the answers with her explanations. The book is written in simple language, using real life examples and explanations of the ways a man’s mind works. Before reading this book I had a completely different understanding of how men and women are different, but I had no idea of just how completely different we are!

I recommend that every women, whether married for 50 years or happily single, pick this book up, read through it and allow your mind to be opened to understand the opposite sex!

• If you wish to buy this book, you can find it in ‘my store’

Technorati Tags: devotional, every girl, good book, good writing, help, men, mystery, paperback, problem solving, quick read, reading, relationship, understand men