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Dec
12
2008
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this time |
I hold your promise on the tip of my finger
I’ve been torn like that before
so maybe I knew what was coming
leave behind those things I thought I was
turning slowly to wait on only you
this time
if you see me lonely it’s cause I’m ripping from myself
is this the rebellion I should stay away from
I wouldn’t have the words, so I’ll speak nothing for your ears
-this time (Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 1:57am)
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Dec
12
2008
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state of mind |
if it suffocates you
try to unlock that door
I won’t give you all the answers
cause it never was that simple
but if you’re in this room
I’ll help you fight your way out
cause when I don’t know what to feel
I write it all down
I can never be that girl
I’m not that easy to follow
the sad songs make it clear
everything I’ve held is out of my hands
last week was all better
but it quickly slipped away
so clean and easy
you had to break it down
you’re living but not alive
and I can’t turn it off
cause then I’m left
just my thoughts for company
-state of mind (Wednesday, May 7, 2008 at 8:22pm)
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Dec
12
2008
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the past |
remember how I used to feel that ache
and wonder where you were
but now I add you to my list
laundry
pack
vacuum
grow tired of your company
turn up the music loud
dance and sing cause no one can hear
in my passing thoughts I’ll reflect on you
and how it could have been
and how I never want it again
you thought you were so much to me
well maybe
maybe once you had that over me
but it’s long gone
cause now I’m on the other side
and there’s no turning back to your door
-the past (Friday, April 11, 2008 at 11:15am)
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Dec
12
2008
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my decision |
If I’m incapable of deception
then I’ll make myself unknown to you
I won’t let you see from where you’re standing
I’ll do what I can to push you away
it’s for your own good,
or didn’t you know it all along
but I’m fighting for the will to fight
and if you try to break my stride
you just might see my courage burning
I thought I’d better warn you
that If I keep up with this torture
it’ll wear us both down
you’ll find I’m not that strong
but you’ll be sorry to see me walk away
cause I won’t be losing that impulse
I’m going back to my beginning
to remember those decisions that I made
and what I’m doing here
-my decision (Monday, April 7, 2008 at 7:13pm)
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Dec
12
2008
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confessions |
I won’t drag myself down or hold this candle for you anymore
Tired of thinking ahead and holding out for you
I’m letting go and going under
I won’t be asking you to save me or looking for your touch
Let go of that fear cause I’m not gonna lie
I’ll tell you what I never wanted if you promse to agree
The game is over cause the clock’s running out
We’re at the finish line so let’s walk it off
It’s time to catch my breath and clear you from my head
-confessions (Friday, March 14, 2008 at 11:14pm)
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Dec
12
2008
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galvanized |
why do you fight this so much
try to keep from going under
giving up too soon to avoid the pain
and breaking your heart first
is always easier than letting him in
keep your distance
to keep from falling hard
not wanting to awaken courage
you keep those things hidden
is it inevitable or may it just work
but you’ll never know
if you never speak what you should
so stand up and try
or you can wait and it will burn you down
it’s your call, it’s your move
the game’s already started
you can play or you can lose
-galvanized (Monday, February 25, 2008 at 9:18pm)
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Dec
12
2008
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my door |
if I didn’t invite you
then you’d better back away
you haven’t been a friend
and you don’t know your place
so hang your head pretty boy
cause you don’t have the answers
and you think it’s all wrong
but my heart has to play
and for all the rest
who think they know me best
have to look at me in all the wrong ways
I can’t get excited to give you what I don’t feel
do I have to explain it
cause it makes no sense to me
what more can I do, but keep avoiding you
if I thought you really listened it might not be this way
but I can’t change your ways
or make you understand
so sit still and pretend we’re ok
just enjoy the view of my front door
-my door (Monday, February 25, 2008 at 7:35pm)
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Dec
12
2008
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the stars |
walking down this road
looking at the ground
never needed to complain
looked up for just a moment
do a double-take
see those stars for the first time
all this time they were there
walking down this life
looking at myself
wanting to complain
missing out on everything else
-the stars (Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 11:03pm)
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Dec
12
2008
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deepening |
how you always know
all those little things
making me smile
in all those little ways
who else would ever know
only you can see
deeper than the rest
why you always do
all those special things
making me happy
in every way you can
how do you always know
but only you can see
deeper than I know
-deepening (Sunday, February 10, 2008 at 11:43pm)
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Dec
12
2008
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flashbacks |
I’ll close my eyes
just pull out the thorn
let me bleed
until it’s all out I won’t feel a thing
and I might feel that pain
but someday it will heal
Just let me bleed
and I’ll be alright
my tears might fall, just let them
burn holes in the ground
and do what they will
until it’s all out
until it’s all over
Just let me bleed
don’t try to stop
you know it will only make it worse
if I let it hurt me now
it might not kill me later
that ache you see just might ease
if you can let it bleed
and just maybe it will bleed enough
to make it stop for good
-flashbacks (Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 6:41pm)