My Random Notes

as we timidly step our feet
out of this long dark shadow
eyes adjusting to the light
your heart skips a beat
just once to test
if what we see is real
the walls and the worries
slowly begin to crumble
making their way to the ground
as we leave them behind
the days of darkness
have passed in a moment
the years of sadness and torment
are all but forgotten

cause we know we’ve found our place
and freedom is in the small things
when you’ve been down for so long
but when you go through all that we have
you learn not to take things for granted

for so long we have cried
and attempted to hide
the pain from those around
as our story unfolds
my heart remembers the days
I had to rip it from yours

but the roads we dared to take
and the hopes we held so tightly
led us back to each others arms
taking longer than we knew
but we can now rise
from the ashes of those lofty plans

and long ago my dreams were for you
but I never knew you could be like this
that life could turn out all joy
so sometimes you have to remind me
just exactly who you are
cause I’m not used to your goodness
and your love can overwhelm me
the ways I’ve been let down before

but here we are now
and we can dance
cause we feel the beat
and we can sing
cause we hear the music
and we can run
cause our feet are free
and I can see
cause you opened my eyes
and we walk out into the sun
cause we find that we can smile
and our hearts can move on

these days move into months
and I still find you here
stuck to my soul
seems unfair to be so far
and still find you here
so close to my heart

found very late
as lovers often do

and I wish you could turn
this heart of mine to song
and carry it with you, all yours
a matching tune
so perfectly together
oh the things we would sing
and be unafraid
of the eyes that pervade
and invade the things we could be

if it could set you free
so you could be
all you
and I could find you complete
away from shame and guilt
and those words that pull you under

to walk with you
outside of a secret
and not have to hide
all the things we truly are

years are far too precious to waste
dragging out all the things you’ve failed
trying to be someone you’re not
and searching for things that don’t exist

Technorati Tags: angst, emotion, feeling, heart, hurt, journal, life, love, mystery, notes, pain, people, questions, random notes, random poetry, random things, random writings, relationship, write, writing

my tears are for you
cause you’ve been left exposed
the facade was torn down
before you could make those repairs
but the damage was done
a long time before

and now the result
is haunting each day
and the years of neglect
cause you to force your attention
but what hurts most of all
is the way you show you care

the choices you make
and the way you use your words
you know the buttons to push
to make everything worse
you try to make things all right
and take back the cold words
but they fall on the ground
and prove the things you don’t feel

words drip manipulation
maybe you don’t mean it that way
but you dredge up the guilt
to build that picture in your head
you’re so desperate not to lose

you’ll find no battle here
no games that we’re in
cause I know my place is secure
and my mind is all clear

if guilt drags you under
I’ll reach out my hand
I can’t help but try to save you
because that is who I am

I only want the best for us all
so I can’t sit far from you
to watch you take anything less

you think you see clearly
all the things that we can’t
saying how easy things should be

how can you know
looking from the outside
maybe it all seems so simple
from that place where you stand

your life is all sorted
and now it’s so easy
to solve everything for me

how do you take advice
from someone who doesn’t know
who’s never experienced
what it’s like in my shoes

these feelings are mine
this time is my own
I have lessons to learn
don’t try to cut these things short

cause you think I’m so sad
sitting where I’m supposed to be
but you don’t have a clue
how this pain mingles with hope

you don’t like seeing me hurt
so look away cause this is life

and I would rather have pain
a slowly unfolding story
than a quick fix situation
and nothing left to show in the end

so many different ways
this story could have gone
but we’ve ended up here
with no answers or promises
just some things set in stone

and I can hear your voice
so wonderful and clear
saying all the right things
coming from your perfect lips
but far like a dream
that I can’t quite reach
homesick for your touch
and all that’s left is
I miss you

the best thing for me
is being next to you
and letting go was never easy
when you seem to be perfection
but in freedom is the answer

disappointment and pain
find healing and life
when the sweetest smell of hope
is singing in the wind
and all goes right

you feel the bars close tightly in
but who’s left there standing
and who’s holding those keys

keep crawling for daylight
even when the hour’s dim
and this mess of your confusion
fills your weary mind
with sleeplessness and depression

it’s not your imagination
causing all the complications
but we can’t change who we are
or cut out love from our hearts

if I knew you so long before
would it be enough to save you

and if it wasn’t about me
would those pieces really fit
cause I don’t see you being happy
when you’re living life that way

is it really what you want
to give your life for guilt and shame
does it bring you honour now
to give up those beautiful dreams

he talks in riddles still
and who has ears to hear
what he really wants to say
would you be so brave to listen
and not pour out condemnation
or push aside another way

somehow it’s your decision
cause our lives are in your hands
so let your heart be soft
and your logic lead the way
it’s far too much to risk
wishing for what has now ceased to exist

we’ve been through the fire
and what have we to show
but the scars and the tracks
we’ve made for each other

the lines left on our cheeks
where the hurt’s been too great
the pain hot and steady
and tears have no idea
the depth from which they grow

but I’ll follow us through
every up and every down
cause those goodbye songs
never quite seem to fit us

the truth takes it’s time
to weave it’s way
around our hearts
gently to speak
words we need to know
and the light of a path
a slow growing realisation
a common ground of understanding

it’s saying something true
that you may not want to hear
cause you sit there longing for love
but too afraid to let go
it’s holding you back
to think it never may exist
but don’t go on cursing your life
ruining happiness for security

we all have our part to play
so what will ours be

believe what you want
and say what you will
my heart knows it’s true way
and won’t play silly games
the future is far
and slow and uncertain
so I’ll wait knowing not
any answer, any outcome

can’t take back these feelings
or erase love from my heart

if our lives are now cursed
then still my hands are tied

we’re caught in the middle
of a choice we don’t have

I’m not the threat you feel
so let’s let go of our plans

if we all give up now
then regret brings us down

where’s the point of conclusion
or a path we can take

what compromise to give
so we can do what we should
if it takes us away
from being who we should

I’ll not lose myself
holding what isn’t mine
but I couldn’t let go
of what’s given to me

who’s decision is this
and who holds the power

we don’t have the right answer
cause our perspectives are skewed

so we walk on insecurities
and unknown plans in the air

if clarity is sought for
are we too scared to ask

for answers to questions
that can ruin all those plans

there’s endless expression for words written here
easily misunderstood unless I’ve let you in
well here is your window and here is your key
I speak in simple riddles, laid down in plain sight
it’s my heart that pours out and I’ve taught it to speak
it’s my thoughts that bleed ink, find a firm place to rest
I’m as simple as female and you know from my heart
it’s not meant to offend or dig wounds I can’t heal
it’s about all my pain and the hope in my sorrow
it’s my joy in deep darkness and lights in the tunnel
this life comes in waves, never know what might come
the best we can hope; stay afloat with the wind
it’s wild with confusion, but we’re safe in it’s hands
I cannot predict, couldn’t change things if I tried
but my heart never sleeps cause it’s cheering us on
so go after good things and keep on the right path
it’s bound to be worth it, if we’ll give up our way

when I speak to express
the truth from my heart
it’s no silly thing
not a moment of feeling
or attempt at manipulation
it’s endless and convicting
things written on my heart
can’t easily be erased
we formed that link
this life long bind
no broken promises can undo
no guilty feelings cover over
no matter what
or how long we can try
it won’t work to pretend
or make light of it all
we’ll be companions in pain
if that’s what it takes
you need to make the right steps
just be sure of what they are
cause it won’t do any good
to make fools of us all
always in my heart
and always on my mind
I know I’ll be in yours
even after so much time