My Random Notes

Yes, I am making an irrefutable proclamation:

Everyone needs a boyfriend blanket.

Yes, you read that right, everyone needs a boyfriend blanket. I know it sounds silly, but once you’ve had one, you can never return to normal life without it.

I highly reccommend faux suede, in fact my boyfriend blanket has one side of faux suede and the reverse is some kind of soft amazingness I can’t even describe.

And I don’t care whether you live in the desert of the Savanna or the peaks of the Himalayas, you need a boyfriend blanket. Yes, you, you need one… just trust me and imagine the soft material caressing your skin while the tough outer ‘suede’ material protects against drafts, harsh north winds, dry desert sands and the like.

Now some of you may be thinking to yourself, “hey, this article makes me feel a little funny inside because although this boyfriend blanket thing sounds enticing, I am a boy/girl who is not actually interested in anything labeled ‘boyfriend.’” Well buddy boy/girl, I have news for you; in this day and age, I don’t care whether you want to sleep next to a giraffe when night falls, a boyfriend blanket will change your life for the better, forever. (PS – you can also label it ‘girlfriend’ if you are so inclined, but in my personal opinion it just won’t be the same, so go ahead and have the guts to say, “YES, I have a boyfriend blanket and I am in love with it!)

Um, the end.

if you could see my hands
would the blood run them clean
when all you see is innocence
and all I see is confusion
mistakes are all I’ve ever known
but I’m tired of everything right

and I wish I could fly
but you’re my only wings
people come and people go
but you remain my constant

the days that turn into months I wait
feigning my patient heart
and I wish you unburdened in every way
but there’s nothing I could take

your pain and stress are yours alone
and I have my own to bear

I seem to ask so much of you
but all I want is all of you
this thing unshakable
just can’t give you up

-unshakable (Monday, October 13 at 6:58pm)

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watching you in an angry sea
the waves of your life crashing into my heart
anguished moments when you disappear
this heart beat grows with every anxious second

as the hours slip out of our hands
those chances passing and not returning
fingers grasp for stolen moments
too far to reach
voices fade like airport announcements
you captured this part of me
but I don’t want it back
so now you have all of me

and I’ll seize your heart
take it far across my sea
bury you down on a sandy shore
until you’re ready to arise

-next (Monday, October 6 at 6:42pm)

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if you could see what my silence meant
would it scare you to know
can you tell what it’s like when I push you away
would you be strong enough to want me to stay
the things you need to know
I never want to speak
it’s complicated, but better for me
I’ll hide in a neon bubble
and you’ll always think you can see

-what I need (Monday, June 9, 2008 at 11:45pm)

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I don’t want to slide again
maybe the reigns you hold
should be my only friends
but see how they’re starting to itch
so what do I do
when it gets too tight
break that collar now
before it gets too hot
don’t ask me how I feel
I’m still getting to know me
because sometimes your presence makes me feel more lonely

-you and me (Monday, June 9, 2008 at 11:34pm)

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I hold your promise on the tip of my finger
I’ve been torn like that before
so maybe I knew what was coming

leave behind those things I thought I was
turning slowly to wait on only you
this time

if you see me lonely it’s cause I’m ripping from myself
is this the rebellion I should stay away from
I wouldn’t have the words, so I’ll speak nothing for your ears

-this time (Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 1:57am)

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if it suffocates you
try to unlock that door
I won’t give you all the answers
cause it never was that simple

but if you’re in this room
I’ll help you fight your way out
cause when I don’t know what to feel
I write it all down

I can never be that girl
I’m not that easy to follow
the sad songs make it clear
everything I’ve held is out of my hands

last week was all better
but it quickly slipped away
so clean and easy
you had to break it down

you’re living but not alive
and I can’t turn it off
cause then I’m left
just my thoughts for company

-state of mind (Wednesday, May 7, 2008 at 8:22pm)

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remember how I used to feel that ache
and wonder where you were
but now I add you to my list
laundry
pack
vacuum
grow tired of your company
turn up the music loud
dance and sing cause no one can hear
in my passing thoughts I’ll reflect on you
and how it could have been
and how I never want it again
you thought you were so much to me
well maybe
maybe once you had that over me
but it’s long gone
cause now I’m on the other side
and there’s no turning back to your door

-the past (Friday, April 11, 2008 at 11:15am)

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If I’m incapable of deception
then I’ll make myself unknown to you
I won’t let you see from where you’re standing

I’ll do what I can to push you away
it’s for your own good,
or didn’t you know it all along

but I’m fighting for the will to fight
and if you try to break my stride
you just might see my courage burning

I thought I’d better warn you
that If I keep up with this torture
it’ll wear us both down

you’ll find I’m not that strong
but you’ll be sorry to see me walk away
cause I won’t be losing that impulse

I’m going back to my beginning
to remember those decisions that I made
and what I’m doing here

-my decision (Monday, April 7, 2008 at 7:13pm)

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I won’t drag myself down or hold this candle for you anymore
Tired of thinking ahead and holding out for you
I’m letting go and going under

I won’t be asking you to save me or looking for your touch
Let go of that fear cause I’m not gonna lie
I’ll tell you what I never wanted if you promse to agree

The game is over cause the clock’s running out
We’re at the finish line so let’s walk it off
It’s time to catch my breath and clear you from my head

-confessions (Friday, March 14, 2008 at 11:14pm)

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